帮我看看我的英语作文哪里有错?

题目

帮我看看我的英语作文哪里有错?
Nowadays,with the development of society,people have a lot of pressure.Where does the stress come from?What should they do to solve these problems?
Parents always want their children to be number one.Therefore they offer their children various class.However,many children hate most of the class.What's more,the children lost their freedom.In my opinion,parents should give their children more freedom,let them study independently and make them do what they want to do.
Adults also have pressure.They should compete with their colleagues.It is hard to get appreciation from their bosses.They must try their best to get along well with their customers.I think they should have more time to relax.And they can also talk to their friends,companion or the elder to solve the problem.
The elder has retired.It is time to enjoy themselves.However they also have pressure.They have no income.When they get older,they will have a lot of health problems.And they often feel lonely.So I suggest the young care for their parents more and spend more time with them.
Though everyone have many pressure,but it not bad to us all,sometime it will makes us study harder,work harder and cherish the chance we have.So we should treat the pressure correctly

答案

number one 前最好加个the 显得更通顺various class 应该是classeslost在这里用过去式不是很好,因为整段都是一般式,会显得很突兀,还是用回原型lose比较好pressure用pressures更好companion加复数companionsor the el...