一个英文长句,不知道写得对不对?

题目

一个英文长句,不知道写得对不对?
Our team constructed a feedback loop model to depict the process of arctic ice cap melting with absorbing solar energy, and coupled it with a heat transfer model based on the convection of ocean currents.
我们组建立了一个（描述（伴随太阳能吸收的）北极冰盖融化过程的）反馈模型,并将它与一个（基于洋流对流换热的）传热模型耦合.
Our team constructed a feedback loop model （to depict the process of arctic ice cap melting （with absorbing solar energy））, and coupled it with a heat transfer model （based on the convection of ocean currents）.
看看该加the的地方有没有都加，或多加？
with absorbing solar energy 好还是 with solar energy absorbing 好？

答案

强!以前的我也很喜欢写长句,而且还好.
读一下这句,意思明了,感觉没错,但有两点不太顺畅：melting process?or the process of melting? with absorbing solar energy 做状语?修饰那个词?
个人认为这样 Our team constructed a feedback loop model to depict the melting process of the arctic icecap with the absorbing of solar energy, and coupled it with a heat transfer model based on the convection of ocean currents.