帮忙润色一篇essay,是final draft了,请大家多多给意见

题目

帮忙润色一篇essay,是final draft了,请大家多多给意见
Stock Market and Teenagers
Nowadays,stock market is no longer a strange phrase and becomes a common topic in the daily life.It provides more opportunities for people to make money through financial investment in the hope of improving the quality of life.Everyday,we can see the latest quotations from the stock exchange on newspapers; also,more and more ordinary people become stock investors,even some teenagers.Stocks are simple.All we do is buy shares in a business with good management and promise.I have a friend,who started to invest in the stock market when she was a secondary school student.She enjoyed doing it,and her parents supported her for the purpose of sowing the seeds for her own future.Although the stock market is full of risks,it encourages young people to learn to exist in a highly competitive society.
As a matter of fact,investing in the stock market is a good learning process,which helps teenagers assimilate into the busines

答案

第一句becomes改为has becomein the daily life改为in our daily lifepeople become改为has become或are becoming或join the army of stock investorsall we do is buy改为all we have to do is to buyshares in a b...