雅思大作文求批改,语法什么的,随意指正吧.哎.快考了.纠结啊.

题目

雅思大作文求批改,语法什么的,随意指正吧.哎.快考了.纠结啊.
社会（平均寿命）
Topic:Survey shows that in many countries across the people are living longer but increased life expectancy has many implications for the aging individuals and for society as a whole.what are the possible effect of longer living for individuals and society?
The past few decades have witnessed a dramatic increase in human lifespan,which can be directly attributed to medical advances,increasing levels of education and economic prosperity.In this essay,I intend to explore some possible effects of rising average lifespan .
Fist of all,it is an undeniable fact that longer life is in the best interest of individuals.Regardless of some psychological or economic problems,which occasionally seen among old people who stay alone without children or lack of essential source of incomes ,most of us have benefited greatly from this trend.Specifically,to the old people themselves,they have more time to pursuit their ideals,as well as accompany t

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