剑6 test3 作文 求打分 求修改~雅思 ielTS!

题目

剑6 test3 作文 求打分 求修改~雅思 ielTS!
剑6 test3
Some People Believe That Visitor To Other Countries Should Follow Local Customs And Behaviour.Others Disagree And Think That The Host Country Should Welcome Cultural Differences.Discuss Both These Views And Give Your Own Opinion.
我的文章
The tourist industry and migration has played a positive role in the communication between countries,meeting the culture needs of the public and carrying forward national culture.Some individuals hold the views that visitors to other countries should study local culture,others argue that the host country should contain different cultures.
It is obviously that following the local customs and behavior makes the tourists and immigration communicate with local people easier and they can living in other countries more convenient.Furthermore,visitors can enrich their experiences and broad their horizons through learning other countries’ cultures.Thirdly,it is benefit local countries since they can showc

答案

1,第二段It is obvious that following .因为be动词后接形容词,不能接副词.
2,第二段第二行they can live in other countries .因为情态动词（can,should等）都接动词原形.
3,第二段第四行,thirdly不合适,它常和firstly,secondly一起,这里最好用what‘s more 或者直接去掉.同一行：benefit不能放在is后,is接形容词,用benefitial,意思是 有益的,有利的.
同一行：contact with and assimilation 中with去掉.
第三段：immigration or tourists 中immigration改immigrants,因为后面引导词是who而且or连接并列的成分.同段最后,interesting on改为interests in.
以上为个人意见,仅供参考,