关于托福作文.

题目

关于托福作文.
Many students spend most of their time on their studies wothout pariticipating in school activities discuss the advantage and the disadvantageof thir attiude towards their school life.
We can see many students studying in classroom day and night without pariticipating in school activities.Studying is important for a student.But should we study all day without taking part in any activities?I think studying is not the only in a student's life and a good student should combine his study with pariticipating in school activities.
Pariticipating in school activities have many advantages.The start with it can help us to obtain many experience.We may learn many things from the activities such as improving your ablitily and teamwork.The experience will make our horizon improve and it will be helpful when we get a job.Second we can make many friends in participating the activities.we will work with many other people in taking part in the activities,so we can make friends with them .we can learn many things from our friends and they might help us if we were to get into trouble in the future.Third doing this will make us confident when we work.we may think :"I have so much experience from the school activeties so my job also will not be diffcult."So pariticipating in school activities benifit us too much,it is useful for us in our school time even for my whole life.
And if we only study in the classroom ,there will be many disadvantages.First you can not obtain any experience by doing this.You can not learn anything out of the textbook so you will not realize how beautiful this world is.Second you do not know how do deal with the relationship between people.When you work in the company you say may something that your boss do not like but you do not know.It is harm for your career.The of critical important thing is you will not be creative.You just know follow others but create something new.
For the aforementioned reasons,I think students should not spend most of their time in studying without pariticating in school activities.It is harm for them.A student with no experence and friends is diffcult to be successful.
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答案

首先,你不觉得第一段太短了吗?你只表达了自己的立场,但应该再作适当解释,个人认为不太合理.拼写错误有点多,如下：第一行wothout-without,pariticipating-participating,第二行 disadvantageof-disadvantage of,thir-...