求帮忙修改一篇英语六级作文

题目

求帮忙修改一篇英语六级作文
Why Living off Campus Is Popular
Nowadays ,Living off Campus Is gaining its great popularity .More and more college students are keen on renting houses and living off campus .There are many reasons accounting for this phenomenon .
First of all ,college students are required to learn so many subjects each semester ,whereas school dormitories are often so noisy ,in order to study in peaceful conditions and study better ,some students are fond of living outside the campus .What is more ,many students believe living off campus they are more independent,with more privacy,Living off campus gives them freedom from those dorm rules and allow them to set their own.In addition ,there are also students choosing to live outside the campus with the purpose of enjoying a reasonably better living environment.
As far as I am concerned ,Living off Campus has both advantages and disadvantages .Living off Campus may mean more freedom in your life style ,but off-campus housing is more expensive than on-campus housing and while living on campus,you don't have to worry about monthly rent payments and utility bills .Taking into account all these factors ,whether to Live off Campus should depend on your study needs and your personal economic base .

答案

Why Living off Campus Is Popular ?
Nowadays , Living off Campus gains it popularity.More and more college students are keen on renting houses and living off campus .There are many reasons accounting for this phenomenon .
First of all ,college students are required to learn so many subjects each semester ,while school dormitories are often too noisy to study. In order to study in peaceful conditions and make the study more efficient,many students choose to live outside camp.
Secondly, many students believe that living off campus can make them be more independent, with more privacy,which Living off campus gives them freedom from those dorm rules and allows them to set their own.
In addition ,some students choose to live outside the campus with the purpose of enjoying a better living environment.
As far as I am concerned , Living off Campus has both advantages and disadvantages .
Living off Campus means more freedom in your life style and you can do all you want to do without worrying to be punished.
However, the fees of off-campus housing is more expensive than on-campus housing's.
second, living on campus, you don't have to worry about monthly rent payments and utility bills,while living outside you should take all these factors into account .
third, you separate from the main stream,that means you may miss a lot of class activities and school practice, making you have few topics to talk with your calssmates which will let you feel a little lonely.
In a word,whether to Live off Campus should depend on you.if you want to ,there are many excuses waiting for you.if you want not , all the difficulties are not questions.
稍微改了下,我觉得你的观点不够鲜明,有点属于中立态度.可能我个人更偏向于反对,再列不利条件的时候,会多一点.这是本人看法,希望对你有帮助.