我写的高中英语作文,麻烦评下分

题目

我写的高中英语作文,麻烦评下分
要求：120字左右
1.谈论看电视的好处与弊端
2.谈谈你自己的观点
以下为我自己今天写的作文,满分20请大家按高考要求评分
Currently,there is no denying that television,to a certain extent,has played a significant part in our life.As is shown according to the reserach,a quantity of people regard it as amusement,most of whom are children.Nevertheless,beyond doubt,not only does watching TV have pros but cons as well.
For one thing,a mount of people can learn a lot from television which,to a certain degree,has a significant impact on our life.In addition,not merely can we get some information ,but also we can enrich our spare time.More importantly,we could also
bring us imagination as well as know the social condition by means of watching TV .
For another,It is universally acknowledged that every coin has two sides and watching TV is no exception ,for the reason that certain people ,exspecially children,are fond of watching TV day and night,which is bad for their eyes seriously.Besides,those who watch TV frequently may become near-sighted.Last but not the least,if you watch TV frequently,it will stop us from
building up.
As far as I am concerned,I am exceeding for the opinion that watching TV is a good way to have fun due to the reason that it could brings us some amusement and information.But for it,we couldn't have got such a good many of knowledge as well as have a good time.

答案

非常好,19分.
从作文可以看出,楼主有着扎实的英语功底,对于复杂句式和高级语法了如指掌,有很强的语言运用能力,词汇量也较大.
但请允许我提一点小建议.整篇作文由于复杂句、复合句过多,会给人带来冗长之感.若是能将简单句、复合句、非谓语动词等有机结合,简繁相配,则此文可称为绝品.