帮忙修改下语法错误呀,【考研20分作文大概能得几分呢?】

题目

帮忙修改下语法错误呀,【考研20分作文大概能得几分呢?】
Online Shopping
As is illustrated in the cartoon,large quantities of commodities in their shopping carts are pushed by crowds of people,who are swarming out of television after shopping.And below the cartoon,there is a topic which says:the convenience and its opposite among the online shopping.
From the cartoon,we can conclude that the cartoonist wants to convey such a message:with the popularity of the computers in the world,the Electronic Business increase rapidly,which has changed the economic style that people has a more convenient way to shop——go to shop online,such as Ebay or Taobao.Meanwhile,there is a good chance of buying a defective product,as people cannot examine the quality when shopping online,which is inconvenience in a sense.All of us accept the fact that the development of the online shopping brings lots of conveniences to our daily life,for instance,we can buy the books,the teacher recommend,on the net instead of going out of h

答案

大概看了一下,有几个小错误,文章太长,阅卷老师没空看的,总体来说还不错,15分有吧which is inconvenience in a sense-------inconvenience 应是形容词形式conveniences ---不可数名词,不可加sAnd there exist ---这种...