我写的一篇英语作文, 给我修改一下好吗? 非常感谢你!

题目

我写的一篇英语作文, 给我修改一下好吗? 非常感谢你!
My favourite season
Other people's favourite seasons are different from mine. I like summer best. Someone thinks summer is too hot. But I think it's so happy for me that during this season. On other words, I enjoy myself in summer. I can eat ic-cream and swim in the cool sea. I also can have my longer holiday. I can play all day without having class. The watermelons are very sweet, too. So I love summer.

答案

去掉第一句.But I think一句有问题,建议改为But I think it's so happy to enjoy myself in summer.后一句自然去掉.I also 一句改为：I also can enjoy my long summer vacation.这样更地道一些.后面几句写得很精彩,无需改动.解释一下去掉第一句的原因：在英语思维里,这一句纯属多余,很不严密,因为喜欢夏天的人大有人在,这样说会让人感到莫名其妙,并且表达方式也是中国式英语,不好.