英语自我介绍 帮我看看怎么样 有什么错误吗

题目

英语自我介绍 帮我看看怎么样 有什么错误吗
Good morning,teachers!
It's a great pleasure to have this interview here today.
My name is XXX.I am come from XXX Language School .I'm XX years old now.My major is German.I have learned it for 3years.During these years ,I have got many certificates .Such as XXX,XXX,Germany certificate and so on.I used to be the organization member of class.I also worked in the Student Union before.So i have the ability of organization.I can deal with problems calmly.I am a smart girl with kindness and responsiblity.I have many hobbies.In my spare time,I like drawing ,writing and doing sports.
Because i am keen on learning languages,so i choose your English major.I want to improve my oral English and English level in the future.I am eager to enter this school.So i will keep working hard and trying my best to realize my dream.
Thank you.

答案

觉得还好,不过because不可以是一句子的第一个词,把它跟上面那句连起来.而且是playing sports,不是doing sports.I have been learning it for 3 years.I also worked in the student union before,so,i have the abil...