中译英,一段短文

题目

中译英,一段短文
你知道怎么才会遇见美人鱼吗?要游到海底,那里的海更蓝,在那里蓝天变成了回忆,躺在寂静中,你决定留在那里,抱着必死的决心,美人鱼才会出现.她们来问候你,考验你的爱.如果你的爱够真诚,够纯洁,她们就会接受你,然后永远地带你走……
Do you know how to meet a mermaid?Swim to the bottom,there the sea is bluer,the blue sky becomes a memory,lying in silence,and you decide to stay there with the determination to die,then you will see the mermaids.They come to welcome you,savor your love.If you love is true enough,pure enough,they will accept you,and take you away forever...
自己做的翻译，

答案

Do you know how to meet a mermaid?
第一句没问题
Swim to the bottom of the sea,where has bluer water.
这里我使用定语从句,句子可以更简介些.
The sky becomes a memory there.
这句话是独立的句子,不能够跟之前的句子直接相连,所以要单独成句(T变成大写).如果想要连在之前的句子上就要用and连接.
Lying in silence,and you must stay there with a determine mind and
then the mermaids will appear.
decided的时态错了,应该用一般现在时.
They will give you warm welcome and test your love.
If you love is ture and pure enough,they will accept you .
You will be taken away forever.
后两句根据自己的理解翻译,楼主的翻译也没有问题.