检查英语作文语法问题

题目

检查英语作文语法问题
Study plan
I'm a Chinese high school student,graduated from high school in June 2011.
After graduation from high school ,I choose to go abroad to continue my study life ,The reason why I choose study abroad ,because in my opinion good education will affect ones whole life ,So I wanted to receive the best education ,therefore,I made the most critical decision in my life to go for my higher education in Canada
First I think that a foreign university attaches great importance to the education ability,this is very useful for us to find a job.The school not only offered education,but also provided me with a platform for free development.So can let I good exercise my social skills,And not just study textbook knowledge,I trust that with an analytical mind and the everlasting interest to finding an answer will help me to complete my study.In the process of studies,Students can discuss and cooperation each other to research the problem,the way I like it very much.Second Studying abroad I must face a new environment,new friends,new life,everything is new.This for me is not a bad thing because I can understand a lot of things I don't know,For example I Can meet the friends from different countries and understand of different cultures I think it must be my life precious wealth.
For the study in foreign countries .I hope I can finish the undergraduate course school work smoothly.In this period,I will participate in different kind school activities including the Student union,in addition I want to study business in the university .because first I guess Modern social economic development soon ,Have a lot of enterprise development up,The enterprises needs a lot of commercial talents.second I'm very interested in finance I often focus on some financial information .
If possible I hope can finish master in Canada,I am sure after that I will come back to china and do something for my motherland,I'll work in a Chinese enterprise or found a company of own.

答案

I'm a Chinese high school student,graduating from high school in June 2011.
After graduation,I choose to go abroad to continue my study life ,The reason for that choice,in my opinion,is that good education will affect one's whole life .To receive the best education ,therefore,I made the most critical decision in my life to go for my further education in Canada
First I think that a foreign university which attaches great importance to the education ability,is very useful for us to seek a job.The school not only offers education,but also provides me with a platform for free development.So i can put what i learn into practice ,and not just study textbook knowledge,I trust that with an analytical mind and the everlasting interest to find an answer will help me to complete in my study.In the process of studies,students can discuss and cooperate with each other to research the problem,the way I like very much.Second Studying abroad means to face a new environment,new friends,and a new life,which is probably not a bad thing because I can understand a lot of things I don't know,For example I can meet friends from different countries and experience different cultures.I think it must be my life precious wealth.
For the study in foreign countries ,I hope I can finish the undergraduate course school work smoothly.In this period,I will participate in different kind school activities including the Student union.In addition I want to study business in the university .这句没看懂尼玛高端 = = because first I guess Modern social economic development soon ,Have a lot of enterprise development up,The enterprises needs a lot of commercial talents.second I'm very interested in finance.I often focus on some financial information .
If possible I hope to finish master in Canada,I am sure after that I will come back to china and do something for my motherland,I'll work in a Chinese enterprise or found a company of own.
天哪楼主这错误是有多多= = 乱用标点和大写不说了 句子语法结构都没弄清楚.啰嗦中文式== 改到了看不懂的那一句!.