Topic:Nowadays,people in some countries can choose to live and work anywhere they want,because of th

题目

Topic:Nowadays,people in some countries can choose to live and work anywhere they want,because of the improvement of the communication technology and transport.Discuss both the advantages and disadvantages.
In many parts of the world,it is quite common these day for people to do almost everything by state-of-the-art facility,such as chat,business trip,learning and so on.The trend is not restricted to the rich who have money to use,but is also evident among the poor who choose to buy because of convenient.
Firstly,the reasons for this trend may involve the recognition that people who do not have communication technology,like mobile phone is rather restricted in term of the convenience of communication anytime,anywhere.By contrast,those who have already own one could contact with his family at once when they are away from home.
Another advantage of using transport and technology is that people could save more time.It is inconceivable that people who live in Asia want to go to Europe by foot.But now,they can choose plane instead,it will cost only several hours.Similarly,some people may take a long time to go to school.Why do they study on the Internet?They can just sit in front of the computer,then learn what they what to learn.
However,the following facts would show a radical different picture.Cell phone,computers and other electronic products will make radiation,and it will be harmful to people's healthy.Research has been providing evidence that people who often travel by plane is more likely to develop cancer disease,because they exposure among the radiation prolonged.
So overall,the advantage of using those outweigh the disadvantages,I believe that people should be encouraged to use the communication technology and transport,those would help people make effective and efficient use of time and money.
帮忙改一下语法错误、还有什么地方可以同意替换,或者逻辑不顺的地方

答案

文章第一段最后...the rich who have the money to use these services.the poor who choose to buy the services because of THE CONVENIENCE.
第二段...the recognition of the fact that people without modern communication technology,such as mobile phones are rather restricted to communicate conveniently in terms of space and time.By contrast,one who owns a mobile phone can contact his family even when he is away from home.
第三段Another advantage of using modern transport and technology is that people can save more time.It is inconceivable to walk from Asia to Europe.Similarly,it may take some people a long time to go to school,so why don't they study on the Internet?
第四段radically different picture.Cell phoneS,computers and other electronic devices emit harmful radiations...cancer就可以,不用cancer disease...because they are exposed to radiation for a long time.
末段 the advantages of using these devices outweigh the disadvantages of doing so.I believe that people should be encouraged to use modern communication and transportation technologies.These technologies will help people use time and money more effectively and efficiently.