自己写了篇英语作文,详细的帮我批下并告诉我语法怎么错了!

题目

自己写了篇英语作文,详细的帮我批下并告诉我语法怎么错了!
on the deveplo rapidly today's,the internet has been become the need of tool for people.but,it gace advantages and disadvantages.
on the hand,people think that the internet can increase of efficiency in study and work.because of it's very convenient.moreover,rich of resoures make people efficiency.on the other hand,because,the young man indulge in the internet's game.so people think that may influeace of learning.
in my opinion,with develop of society.the internet will be importance to daily life of people.young man should use of resonable the internet and on the way of used work and study more than play a internet's game.

答案

第一句看上去就像机器翻译一样.是手写的么.