麻烦大家看看我写的交换生给美国家庭的一封信可不可以

题目

麻烦大家看看我写的交换生给美国家庭的一封信可不可以
Dear Sir or Madam:
Hello.I’m the student who you will receive.I’m honored to become a member of your family in these so short 3 weeks.This is my first visit to the United States.I feel a little nervous.But I’m excited as well.
The purpose of my trip to the United States primarily to exercise my English,but also to enjoy the scenery on the U.S.I hope to increase the level of my spoken language when I finish this trip.
I lived in a Single-parent family,my mom and dad divorced a decade ago,and I have been living with my mom.But I think this hasn’t affected my growth.My mom gave me double the love.And I never got into trouble for the divorce of my parents.I think this is their choice,I respected them.
On the weekends,I often help my mother at home washing clothes,doing the housework,and occasionally do some simple cooking.
I’m not good at playing basketball :),but I’m glad to play soccer.I join a small group of soccer in my senior school,and we play it for about twice a week.I can swim too.And I think I swim pretty well
I am a cheerful and lively person,very happy to make friends with people.I’m not going to care too much about little things.And I almost never get angry.You will see my happy smiling face every day 0(∩_∩)0~.
Finally,I sincerely thank you for your hospitality and I also hope in this short 3 weeks bring you infinite joy and everlasting memories.
Heartfelt thanks
Carl
5/22/2010
我即将作为一名交换生去美国,这是第一次去,麻烦大家看看这封信
是否还有格式什么的需要修改的,

答案

写信dear sir后面最好用逗号吧.1.我认为把hello去掉好点,前面已经称呼dear sir了,听着比较啰嗦.2.i'm the students whom you will receive.3.The purpose of my trip to the United States primarily is to exercise...