请大家给我的托福作文打分

题目

请大家给我的托福作文打分
title:whether borrowing money from a friend can harm the friendship.
作文如下:
Some people think that borrowing money from a friend will harm their friendship,but I don’t think so.In my opinion,friends should believe each other,so they won’t mind lending money to their friends,and it cannot do harm to their friendship.
Friends are the people who have close connecions with each other,who like and believe each other.What’s more,people should help their friends when they are in trouble,for example,when their parents get ill seriously,and they are lack of money,it is necessary to lend money to help them.This won’t harm their friendship,on the contrary,this even can strengthen their friendship.Beacause their friends think they are their true friends,a friend in need is a friend indeed.And their friends can help them in return for their kindness.
On the other hand,some people may say that if they lend money to their friends,they may don’t return the money in time

答案

开头不要套用模版!既然是“应该相信”,后面直接说“所以不会”太过武断,是中国人思路.全文衔接很有问题,上下句没有逻辑关系,用的连词也不够.但是你最需要提高的是你中国人的思维,不要用强加于人的写法,try to persua...