帮忙批改托福作文

题目

帮忙批改托福作文
If you are an employer,which kind of worker would you prefer to hire:an inexperienced worker at a lower salary of an experienced worker at a higher salary?
When asked about hiring experienced workers with high salary or non-experienced employees with low salary,the majority people claim that they will choose experienced workers,but other people think the non-experienced employees is better choice.As far as I concerned,I think people can acquire more beneficial points than weak points if we choose experienced employees because we can save money and time.
Why should we employ experienced workers?For one thing,among the most important reasons,one should emphasized first.Experienced workers can reduce the cost of the company.There is no more sufficient evidence in favor of choosing veterans.An observation shows that 90% companies such as IBM,Microsoft,used to hire workers who have working experience.With experienced workers,company can spend less money on training program.What's more,the veterans can be the model of new comers.To the already familiar facts a great deal of further evidence may be added.At the same time,we can easily understand the reasons why company wants experienced workers.
For another,veterans can reduce the time that workers spend on their job.Ultimately,employees can be more productivity in a given period.We may cite a single example which is very persuasive.My friend Tom is a manager of a medium size company.They only hire the experienced,which leads them to a relatively higher productivity.There are still numerous similar examples existing around the modern world.Consequently,are there any reasons why we do not tend to choose the experienced?
Not only experienced workers can give us pronounced merits,but also non-experienced employees may bring people some positive aspects.One of the advantages of non-experienced workers is that we can control the cost of remuneration program.Meanwhile,in another way,they can bring us new thoughts.Even though we do get a couple of advantageous points from rookies,I maintain that experienced definitely provides people with more notable,more significant and more proper profits.
From what has been discussed above,we could safely draw the conclusion that choosing experienced workers is superior than hiring non-experienced employees for veterans can earns more profits for company.The benefits from rookies cannot compete with the dominant aspects from the experienced.With the great help of experienced people,company can be more competitive.
请指出不足和优点,

答案

整体感觉段落很清晰,不足就是一些小的语法错误,这些你自己都能找到的.还有就是Even though we do get a couple of advantageous points from rookies,I maintain that experienced definitely provides people with ...