麻烦大家帮忙修改一篇雅思作文,主要是我语法不好,麻烦帮我改语法～

题目

麻烦大家帮忙修改一篇雅思作文,主要是我语法不好,麻烦帮我改语法～
topic：should old people stay at home or be placed in nursing homes?
These days,most of people take the opinion that old people should stay at home with their family members.Contrary to generally accepted ideas,I would like to prove that nursing home is a better choice for old people to enjoy their spare life.The reasons are chiefly as follows.
In the first place,morden people’s life are influenced by the speed of social development that have to work harder to keep a better life standard.They even have no time to share their happiness and sorrow to their wife or husband,not least taking care old people who may feel lonely easily.We can not announce to others that my grandparents are living with us happily because they can do whatever they like in home everyday after we go to work or study.Compares with free,they need more communications with some same age friends to keep physical and psychological health.
In such retirement homes,aging pe

答案

These days,the majority of people take the opinion that old people should stay at home with their family members.Contrary to generally accepted ideas,I would like to prove that nursing home is a better choice for old people to enjoy their spare life.The reasons are chiefly as follows.
In the first place,换为contemporary (modern你写错了) people’s life are so strikingly influenced by the high-speeding（删speed of） social development that(so that结构) they have to work harder to live a better life.They even have no time to share with their partners their happiness and sorrow (删with their wife or husband) ,let alone（删not least） taking care of the old (删people) who may feel lonely （删easily）.We can not tell (删announce to) others that my grandparents are living happily with us because they can do whatever they like in home everyday after we youth(we的同位语,指年轻人) go to work or study.Compared with free,they need more communications with their peer（删some same age） friends to keep physical and psychological health.
In nursing homes (删such retirement homes),aging people can receive intensive medical care from professional doctors and nurses.Besides,they can receive a proper diet prepared by dieticians that(修饰diet) can meet their individual requirements.Moreover,they can receive regular medical check-up so that many（any不切实际） disease could be found in their early stages.（删What is）The biggest benefit (删most beneficial) is that once （删if） any disease strikes,medical services are immediately available.
On the other hand,some people may argue that if aging people move into a nursing home,keeping a family tie will be(删having a family union is) harder than before.Actually,old people prefer to live in a peaceful environment（删era）to make sure their organs work normally.To put it differently,nursing home provides a more suitable place for the old to live（删to live for our grandparents）.