帮忙看一下这篇作文有没有写的不对的地方~

题目

帮忙看一下这篇作文有没有写的不对的地方~
two days ago,my little dog jesse died.
jesse had been in my family for almost four months,she was a very cute and smart dog,she had a big head and eyes of pure.jesse was labrador retriever,so she was naughty and lively,she accompanied me to spend a pleasant time.
but now,she is gone.
jesse,i am so sorry.i shouldn't had left you alone at home that day,i thought when i went home,you will still be as happy as usual in the cage and wait for me to play with you ,i thought you will stay with me safely and happyily forever,i thought i can watch you grow up every day.there are so many things i haven't done with you,Why do you suddenly left me?
jesse,will you know my name if i saw you in heaven?will you still remember me?
jesse,my darlin.i miss you so much.
有错的请大家指出来~我总感觉时态用错了

答案

two days ago,my little dog jesse had died.
jesse has been in my family for almost four months,she is a very cute and smart dog,she has a big head and eyes are pure.jesse is labrador retriever,so she is naughty and lively,she accompanied me to spend a pleasant time.
but now,she has gone.
jesse,i am so sorry.i shouldn't leave you alone at home that day,or else i can see that you will be as happy as usual in the cage after i going home and waiting for me to play with you ,and i think you will stay with me safely and happyily forever,above all i can watch you growing up every day.there are so many things i haven't done with you,Why do you suddenly leave me?
jesse,will you know my name if i see you in the heaven?will you still remember me?
jesse,my darlin.i miss you so much.