求大牛雅思小作文批改!TEXT 1 的小作文,帮忙改下错,平下分.
题目
求大牛雅思小作文批改!TEXT 1 的小作文,帮忙改下错,平下分.
The graph describes the portion of the population aged 65 and over between 1940 and 2040 in three countries---USA,Sweden and Japan.As shown in the graph,an increment of the rate of old people is expected.
In 1940,the proportion of population aged 65 and more was extremely low,which the figure of these countries stood at 9%(in USA),8%(in Sweden) and only 5%(in Japan).Then,by the end of the 1980 ,the number of the old people in USA and Sweden had experienced a dramatic growth ,arriving at 15% and 14% respectively;by contrast,Japan had saw a slight decrease,after that,it had reminded approximate 3% by the corresponding period .Subsequently,there were some fluctuation,but it is predicted that the rate of the elder will descend by around 10% in USA and sweden.
After 1980,Japanese old people had an upward trend consistantly.The portion of population aged 65 and over in Japan will overtake Sweden and USA in 2030.The USA,Sweden and Japen will reach
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