高一英语作文 请指教打分30分制

题目

高一英语作文 请指教打分30分制
Dear Amy
Thank you for writing me this letter.you are said to be laughed at due to your obesity.here is some advise I offer to you in order to help you attain your confidence once again and reduce your depression .
First of all,A balance diet does good to your body greatly,It’s of benefit to you to have a heathy food in the course of daily life.
Additionally,Never slight the importance of exercise,which will exert a remarkable influence on you.
Last but not the least ,You ought to attach significence to your mood,appearance is not everything.A beautiful inner is better!

答案

同学来个题目啊
反正根据高三的平分标准（扣分比较狠,语法水平我给你按高一算的） 18分吧（给你按比较保守的估计）,语法错误比较多,语句赘余严重.信件格式错误（没有署名）
建议：不要刻意去用一些语法结构,语句通顺、自然更重要.拿不准的语法别用,出现语法错误是硬伤,分数会扣很多.作文结构是基本,好好掌握下,段落应该以3~5段为最好,每段应该表达一个观点,最后最好有个总结,每个段落写的稍微长一点（有可能你这规定字数少,可能写的少了点）
不过还得看下题目,文章还要根据是否切合题目给分
如果扣分不是太狠的话可能会22左右