雅思作文,麻烦改改错,

题目

雅思作文,麻烦改改错,
题：In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies.
Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this.
In this day and age,it is universally argued that whether students should go to work or travel for a year after their graduation of high school.In my essay,I will describe both upside and downside about this issue.
The advantages of working or traveling before they step into the colleges are a lot.To start with,it can expend people’s horizon by working or traveling.They can learn a large amount of knowledge about colorful life and complicate society,which cannot be learned in books.For the people living in needy,going to work is the best way to relieve family’s financial burden,on the other hand,for the people living in a wealthy life,it can enrich their social experience.With the process of society,the population is booming and the competit

答案

1.after their graduation from high school
2.The first and the most essential one is that it is more time-consuming
3.because graduating from a university plays a pivotal role in the modern society.
4.I admit that working or traveling may not be fit for some young people
5.I believe young people should be encouraged to do what they want