雅思作文修改评分

题目

雅思作文修改评分
Governments are more responsible for scientific research than private companies.To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In this day and age,the techology is advancing at an amazing speed.While some people argue that the government has a duty to the scientific research,others think that this should be done by private companies.Personlly,I agree with the former view,but I would qualify it to some extent.
It is evident that the authorities have the inherent advantage of doing these things.To begin with,the government can enhancing their efficiency to do such researches.To avoide wasting much time,they can ues some experts to fulfill these tasks.By contrast,private companies may not have enough skilled workers,so they cannot accomplish this objactive on time.Moreover,it is benificial to the environment,as the experts can deal with the useless materials efficiency.However,such private companies only want to do more science topics,regardless of how the environment chang

答案

你没把放到word里面改一下错的单词么...写的很一般 句子都太简单了 词汇也不够 论证也不充分 要尽量写长句子 给你大概改了下 仅供参考
In our current society,with the rapid development of technology and science,a question of whether or not should governments be more responsible for the scientific research comes to be discussed.While some people argue that the government has a duty to the scientific research,while others,however,think that it is the private companies who should be done this.As far as I’m concerned,I’d like to agree with the former view,but I would qualify it to some extent.
It is evident that the authorities have the inherent advantage of doing these things.To begin with,with the help of government,researches could be more efficiently complete to some degree.To avoid wasting much time,they can use some experts to fulfill these tasks.By contrast,private companies may not have enough skilled workers; consequently,hardly could they accomplish this object on time.Moreover,it is beneficial to the environment,as the experts can deal with the useless materials efficiently.However,such private companies only want to do more science topics,regardless of how the environment changed.So they always discharge contaminates outsides,and the surrounding is aggravated by the small factories.In addition,these exports can acquire more money than working in private companies.The government can allocate more money to them,so they all willing to cooperate with it.
However,some people think these private companies should assume the responsibility for this.It is obvious that the governments are too busy to do the science researches.Evidently,if the government dedicate more time to them,it will not do other things,even if something is important.Nonetheless,if the government can use the time in an effective way,it can achieve all the objects.
Overall,from what has been discussed above,we can easily draw a conclusion that governments have more responsibilities to develop the scientific research,rather than the private companies.I am convinced that the government can make our life better.