帮我看看这个作文有问题吗 这是考研作文

题目

帮我看看这个作文有问题吗 这是考研作文
Dear sir or madam,
I am writing this letter in order to find a child that I wish to help.
I would like to find a child who comes from remote area and,especially,have no funds to finance his or her education.Therefore,I need your help.Enclosed with this letter is my personal informations.I will give the child some aids.Firstly,I would give him financial supportion to cover his tuition and living expenses until he conplete all the required
courses in university.Secondly,I can solve all his mental problems beacause I am a psychologist.Otherwise,my cheerful personality is well suit to getting along with a kid.
I look forward to your early reply.Please do not hesitate to contact me if you find a suitable candidate.You can contact
me by e-mail at [e-mail] you for your kind assistance!
Yours sincerely,
Li MING

答案

为什么in order to非要放前面 楼上太不靠谱 做目的状语放哪里都可以
Enclosed with this letter is my personal informations 两个疑问 information有复数吗 如果有复数,那么这里既然是倒装,谓语就要跟随主语,主语是informations 那就要用are
supportion?应该没有这词 support就可以做名词
后面的complete也应该用第三人称单数
i am a psychologist是不是有点大了 你可以说有一些心得 熟悉 直接说心理学家有点过
hesitate的确不合适 犹豫、踌躇的意思 劝别人买东西倒是常用
还有
Otherwise,my cheerful personality is well suit to getting along with a kid.
为什么要用否则?感觉句子意思不是否则啊