帮忙改正英语作文

题目

帮忙改正英语作文
My Family
Do you know the meaning of the word "family"?It means "Father,mother I love you."In fact,in my family,just like the word's meaning.
My father is busy working every day.I think he is as busy as me.Usually.,he drives the car and takesme to school.I feel indebted for what he does for me.When I was free,I thumped his back and made him comfortable.I really happy for that.
My mother has a small company.She always busy and got tired all day.She is really strict with me.She often tells me that she is getting older and older,and she wants me to be the top.And that,whatever I do,I always the apple of her eyes.And she is always proud of me.
As for me.now I am a high school student.I am yong,I have some beautiful dreams.But to achieve my dreams,I must study hard now.I wish I can be the one I wanna be,
The happiest time is the time for dinner.My family were sitting on the chair and eating their food.As usual,I am on purpose to say,I don't like this food.Mom,help me with it,OK?You eat it ,please.Of course.,that food must be my favorite,however ,I love my mother.
My family is full of love.Don;t you think so?
改正错误.并分析之……
追分的~

答案

1 "Father and mother,I love you."in fact,in my family,it just like the word's meaning.
2 第三段：She is always busy and get tired all day.However(表示一种转折关系),and用得太多了,可以将‘and that’去掉.变成：she said,whatever i do,i am always the apple of her eyes,and she will be proud of me forever.
3 最后一段：however,i love my mother,i want to give her the best.
文章比较流畅,也没有什么大的错误.但是为了更好一些,我觉得还应该多做修改,比如文章中连词比较单一,你只用了and,however,其实还可以用些其它的来使文章更流畅.另外,句型不多,很多都是基本的“主-谓-宾”结构,可以多用用从句~