求雅思大作文批改 请帮忙看一下有多少分并提点意见

题目

求雅思大作文批改 请帮忙看一下有多少分并提点意见
Some people believe that children should be allowed to stay at home and play until they are six or seven years old.Ohters believe that it is important for your children to go to school as soon as possible.
In the present age,it is probably true to say that most children start to go to nursery school when they are around 3 years old.Whether it is a blessing or a curse has sparked a heated debate.Some peoples argue that sending the child to school in early age has fundamentally beneficial influence on the growth of child,while many others contend that it has the detrimental effects as well.
A convincing argument can be made about nursery education not only fostering an independent and self-reliant child,but also developing the child’s interpersonal skills.To start with,children are likely to cultivate the teamwork spirit,cooperation and competition,because they can learn to care for others and seek assistance from others through the originated activit

答案

too old,6分