求助：雅思作文评分并修改

题目

求助：雅思作文评分并修改
题目：Some people think that students should go to college for further education. However, some others claim that students should go to learn the skills such as fixing cars or construction. What is you opinion?
In the present age, the question of whether should the students gain a higher degree is a frequent topic of discussion. While some people believe that students should go to college for future schooling, others, however, maintain that they can learn more techniques for their future lives. As far as I am concerned, I agree with the former view, but I would qualify it to some extent.
It is evident that educating is playing a pivotal role in today's world. To begin with, as the competition is increasingly stiff, more people want to improve themselves. A well-known person can easily get a better job while others may not - that is to say, this can enable them to acquire a good career. Moreover, it is an effective method to the students, to improve their creativity and imagination. Unlike the students who work earlier, educating cannot only let them to learn more information, but also to let them fulfill their potention. So this is beneficial to help the students enhancing themselves. More exactly, through studying the book, students will have a huge amount of fun, which means the content is stimulating enough. Consequently, they can find more intrested things from the book.
However, some people insist that students should learn more skills rather than just study. It is obvious that taking part in social ativities are beneficial for them. Learning these skills earlier, they can realise the society better, and it can remove the barrier for the problems they may met. Nonetheless, if they do not have some basic knowledge to support these skills, they may lose more opportunities. In other words, to avoide this, the students should enrich their knowledge every time.
Overall, from what has been discussed above, we can easily draw a conclusion that students should go to the college for future education. I am convinced that they will gain many achievements when they grow up.

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