雅思作文批改,最好顺便能给个大体分数!

题目

雅思作文批改,最好顺便能给个大体分数!
分类：globalization
大作文练习
时间：8月30日晚21点37到22点15
When international media convey the same messages to the global audience,people argue that expansion of international media has negative impacts on cultural diversity.What is your opinion?
Globalization is a term that refers to the activity that involves more than one country,for example,from the mess media to the cultural values.So there is a heated discussion involving around the potential impacts of the international media bought to the countries,especially to the needy country.Some people are concerned about the communication by international media imposing an negative impacts on cultural diversity,instead of promoting it.This notion can be rejected as one can see many facts in favor of the development by international media.
International media is good for the culture of one nation.Firstly,with the help of it the culture can spread by sorts of terms,which can improve the communication between different countries.Even sometimes the information or messages are similar,but the international media can help the countries enhance the mutual understanding of other unique culture.For example,the USA make full use of the advanced media to spread the American’s culture; so we can have opportunities to get touch with the spirit of American,just like American Dream.It is obviously that compared with its drawbacks,the international media can bring us a lot of benefits that the countries can learn from each other.Secondly,accepting other country’s culture is not the same as that of abandoning domestic culture.Some international media,just like BBC and CNN,make a series of videos or movies that we can enjoy other country’s culture.So we can achieve a lot of benefits from it.
Some people may argue that the same messages conveyed by international media will do harmful to cultural diversity.That may be true.The global media is in the hands of a few powerful organizations or wealthy countries.They can advise their own culture to accomplish some certain political objects.However,in my opinion,the aims of global media are cater to the demands from the inputted countries,which make it to advertise their culture based on the local custom.For instance,it is possible for one international media to broadcast their culture without any similar local factors.So I suppose it is not so severe and it protect local culture in some terms.
According to the above analysis,we can clearly observe that international media bringing more merits than demerits.We must make full use of it to serve for our life.

答案

文章写得完整.句子段落清楚.绝大多数词汇使用正确.但有些句子结构不够严紧,前后联系不紧密.有些地方表达不清.整体尚有许多地方需改进.按雅思作文标准,估计可以得4.5-5.0分.1.'for example,from the mess media to th...