帮我改下雅思作文,并看看这篇作文能得几分、、谢谢

题目

帮我改下雅思作文,并看看这篇作文能得几分、、谢谢
Old buildings occupy a large space in some long-historical countries.It represents the culture and lifestyle of a nation.Some people support to protect these old buildings in order to remembering our ancestors and strengthening cultural diversity of the communities.Otherwise,some people against it because the old buildings have influenced the development of the urban sprawl.In my point of view,the existence of the old buildings has more advantages than disadvantages.
Old buildings are the special symbol of an area.People are reminded by those buildings to know their fantastic culture.Likewise,old buildings have their researchable values and architectural values.The designers in modern socity can learn from those great buildings to build some functional and fabulous modern buildings.As well as the historian,they can get more information about the lifestyles and the comment of their lives.
Furthermore,old buildings can make a great contribution to the

答案

Old buildings occupy a large space in some long-historical countries.It represents the culture and lifestyle of a nation.Some people support to protect these old buildings in order to remembering (应该remember) our ancestors and strengthening (应该strengthen) cultural diversity of the communities.Otherwise (otherwise用错了,应用on the other hand/side),some people （加are）against it because the old buildings have influenced the development of the urban sprawl.In my point of view,the existence of the old buildings has more advantages than disadvantages.
- 开篇观点明确.用词还好,少数语法错误,第一印象为6分以上,7.5以下）
Old buildings are the special symbol of an area.People are reminded by those buildings to know their fantastic culture.Likewise,old buildings have their researchable values and architectural values.The designers in modern socity （拼错了society）can learn from those great buildings to build some functional and fabulous modern buildings.As well as the historian (as well as用错了,用additionally吧),they can get more information about the lifestyles and the comment of their lives.
- 第二段也写得不错.个别词法错误,但是总体不影响理解.看来是6.5-7.5的水平,继续看.
Furthermore,old buildings can make a great contribution to the tourism industry.For instance,some people are interested in the Great Wall,some are curious about the Big Ben,others may think the Summer Palace Museum is perfect.Thus,they will travel to some places which have their favourite old buildings.Obviously,the increasing number of tourist owe to the old buildings （这句话语法没错,也好理解,但是native speakers不会这么说）.They attract many travellers to appreciate the old-fashioned buildings.The government make a large number of money from the old buildings indiectly （拼错了）.Therefore,it is no doubt that we should not destory （拼错了）these old buildings.On the contrary,we should put more money into the old building protection.
- 还是有拼写错误.语句总体来说没有太多毛病,但是句法词法使用偏于单调,不够丰富.不到7.5的水平.
To sum up,old buildings are regarded as the most precious things for the nations.We should be proud of the old buildings,because they proves the great history of the human beings.
- 最后评分：6.5-7分.运气好,7分,运气不好,6.5分,但是明显高于6分的水平.
- 你的逻辑、文章组织都没有多大的问题.背些样句套话,还有用些正式些的词语,很快就能提高整体书平了.比如invest in maintenance of traditional architecture 和put more money into the old building protection就是两个档次的文字水平.
- 再接再厉!