英语作文检查……

题目

英语作文检查……
学校要求按格式写一篇游记,写完之后我不知道有没有语法上的错误（最近中式英文很厉害）麻烦大家帮忙看看
In this summer holiday,I went to Panlong Gorge with my classmates.
Panlong Gorge is a place which with scenic beauty,the green hills and clear waters made us relaxed.
Favorite scenery:The water and the lavenders.
The water gave us a deep impression,trees grown around the both sides of the rivulet and water is cool and clear.
If you look out of the window,you will see the lavenders is full of you eyes.How beautiful they are!Everyone who has been to there says.
Memorable moment:
We were eating delicious food while we are enjoying the beautiful scenery,during that time,we could hear the songs of bird,and breathe the fresh air.I never feel eased since I have gone into grade 9.

答案

in this改为during
a place which with改为a place where there is
beauty之后应该分成两句
trees grown改为trees grew,不应该用过去完成时
water is改为water was, 句内时态一致
lavenders is full of your eyes,晕,薰衣草上都是你的眼睛?改为you will see many lavenders
been to there改为been there
says改为says so
while we are改为while we were, 时态一致
songs of bird改为songs of birds,如果一只鸟的话改为songs of a bird
最后一句改为I have never felt so eased since...