帮我看看这篇雅思写作文章能拿多少分?

题目

帮我看看这篇雅思写作文章能拿多少分?
40分钟,至少250字.
Convenience foods will become increasingly prevalent and eventually replace traditional foods and traditional methods of food preparation.
To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
正文（268字）：
Convenience foods are becoming increasingly prevalent nowadays.In fact,such a phenomenon can be ascribed to one of the main characteristics of modern civilization.But in my opinion,prevalent as convenience foods are,they are not likely to completely replace traditional foods and traditional methods of food preparation.
People are busy now,so it is very troublesome to spend our precious time making foods after a day’s hard work.I think this is the most salient reason for the prevalence of convenience foods.Most people choose convenience foods over traditional foods only for the sake of saving their time.If they become less busy,say,when taking a vacation or after their retirement,they will certainly cook for themselves,preservi

答案

同复习雅思作文中,不敢妄加点评.
不过有个小建议,貌似雅思大作文最好不用第一和第二人称.