帮忙修改一下语法（论文节选）改好了追加40

题目

帮忙修改一下语法（论文节选）改好了追加40
With the boiling of “Super Star” in Hunan TV,idolatry became popularly among the college students again.Magazine of Chinese College students’ Employment organized a survey called “college students’ situation of idolatry”.For the question “Which type of people do you think can be idols?”11% of the students select stars,48% select entrepreneurs,18% select scientists,16% choose politicians and strategists,18% choose ordinary people and 7% choose virtual people.[20]
The recent Fudan University survey has found that successful entrepreneurs have surpassed pop stars as college students' idols.“In the survey,which sampled 150 students from different grades and departments,96 students chose successful entrepreneurs as their idols,91 added scientists and scholars to the list,while only 75 of them chose stars of appearing in stage and screen.” [21]A second-year post-graduate student who conducted the survey said that it’s normal for students to have traditional ideas about the qualities an idol should have.
The results show that college students are no longer impressed by the stars of shows.They think of idols as people who have made a great contribution to society.These kinds of ideas aren't easily changed by TV shows.
“Social contribution” has been college students’ important standard to select idols.
“In a survey,for the question ‘what is the most important quality an idol must have?’ 42% of the students choose ‘social contribution’,20% choose personality and talent.Status only occupies 7.3% and fortune only 0.6%.They all agree that the most important standard is that ‘personal talents are useful to bring the positive influence to society’.” [22]
For the question “Why do you choose them as your idols?” 57% of the college students choose talents and abilities.23% of the students choose self-contribution and charisma.[20]
Through the data,we can see social contribution plays an important part in college students’ idolatry.
In addition,people always worried that human gives their sufferings to the unreal world.In fact,it has proved that the worry is superfluous.
“Most of the college students choose politicians and entrepreneurs as their idols.20% of them choose politicians and 18% choose entrepreneurs.They emphasize their contributions to society and their personalities,but not their fortune,status or performance talents.” [16]
今天就要的
改多少算多少

答案

With increasing popularity of the “Super Star” show on the Hunan TV,idolatry is gaining attention among college students again.A survey about the college students’ situation of idolatry is conducted by the Magazine of Chinese College students’ Employment.For the question “Which type of people do you think can be idols?”,11% of the students select stars,48% select entrepreneurs,18% select scientists,16% choose politicians and strategists,18% choose ordinary people and 7% choose virtual people.[20]
A recent Fudan University survey (claims/concludes) that more college students have voted successful entrepreneurs as their idols as compared to pop stars.This survey sampled 150 students from different grades and departments in which 96 students chose successful entrepreneurs as their idols,91 added scientists and well-known scholars and only 75 of them chose stars who appear on stage and in the screen.” [21]A second-year post-graduate student who conducted the survey said that it’s common for students to have traditional ideas about the qualities an idol should have
.
The results show that college students are no longer impressed by celebrities.Their definition of idols is people who have made significant contributions to the society.Such perceptions cannot be changed easily by the TV shows.
In the eyes of the college students,the key standard in the selection of idols is social contribution.
In a survey question ‘what is the most important quality an idol must have?’ 42% of the students choose ‘social contribution’,20% choose personality and talent.Status only takes up 7.3% and fortune only 0.6%.They all agree that ‘personal talents are useful to bring the positive influence to society’ is the most important standard.[22]
For the question “Why do you choose them as your idols?” 57% of the college students choose talents and abilities while 23% of the students choose self-contribution and charisma.[20]
Through the above-mentioned data,we can see social contribution plays a crucial role in college students’ idolatry.
Moreover,people always worried that others give their sufferings to the unreal world.In fact,it has proved that this worry is superfluous.
“Most of the college students choose politicians and entrepreneurs as their idols.20% of them choose politicians and 18% choose entrepreneurs.They emphasize their personalities and contributions to society,(rather than/instead of) their fortune,status or performance talents.” [16]
我帮你全部都修改了,不错的,满意的话记得加40分哦;D