考研最后一天,求批改英语作文!感激不尽!

题目

考研最后一天,求批改英语作文!感激不尽!
As is vividly depicted in the picture,when a bottle falls down,two people have quite opposite thoughts.The optimistic one thinks that although having lost water,we still have some left.On the pessimistic people's perspective,however,the fallen bottle turns out to be a huge disaster for him,making him hold the view that everything has gone.
The scene in the picture,accurately,demonstrates a prevailing phenomenon which permeates our contemporary life.There are overall two kinds of people,optimistic one and pessimistic one,whose attitudes towards life experience are quite diverse.Moreover,what they think about their life can further exert some influence on their destiny.The optimistic people are always positive and generous,having a lot of beautiful expectations for life.Therefore,it is undeniable that they can overcome any barriers confidently,nomatter how difficult it may be.On the contrary,the pessimistic people hardly tackle life problems easily.Instead,it seems to be pain-staking and struggling for them to deal with these difficulties.Their life,undoubtedly,lacks happiness and pleasure.
Having analysing the two conditions,we can simply lead to the conclusion that we all should be optimistic about life.It can not only make life full of joy,but may pave the way to your own dream simultaneously.Moreover,when faced with difficulties,we are available to take courage and wisdom to fight against them.For example,when I was preparing for my final exam,no matter how difficult the course is or how urgent the exam is to be,I keep on thinking that I can make it successfully.And not surprisingly,it variably turns out to be a happy ending for me.Merely in necessary mood and attitudes for life will we be able to obtain the life which we yearn for.
题目是2012大作文,希望多给一点建议,

答案

具体的语法和用词等就不逐句点评了——因为我不是英语老师.但可以跟你交流一下我的看法：1、技巧上讲,长句不宜太多,且不宜通篇刻意使用你能想到的“高水准”单词或短语——尤其是其用法还没完全掌握的情况下,要避免...