交换生出国英文申请,求高人修改!看看是否有语法错之类的.

题目

交换生出国英文申请,求高人修改!看看是否有语法错之类的.
要求：Personal Statement: This is a brief essay about who you are, what you've done or accomplished, and what your goals are for the future.
作文：I am a girl born in a small city. The year I was 18, I left my hometown and came to a big city where I am going to study and spent my five-year campus life there. I have learnt to do everything by myself and enjoy good relationship with classmates in the college, which I used to be so much worried about. Be more confident and independent, I really look forward to enjoying a campus life in America. There’s no doubt that I’ll learn much more from the friendly people and culture there where is neither in my hometown nor my country.
I major in Urban Planning in my university, which is a dream for me when I was young. I try my best to learn more about it, and do pretty well in architecture. In addition, I really go for in art designing and painting. The interests and hard-working help me get the first price in a designing competition. When I learnt that my dreaming subject, Landscape Architecture is just available in UC Davis, I was so happy.
Urban Planning is a subject requires various knowledge, science and art, internal and external. And if I get the chance to go abroad means I get the chance to know more. It’s certain that the rich experience will help a girl get closer to her goal, which is to be a qualified expert in Urban Planning. In the near future, I plan to put my knowledge into practice. Teachers and Books teach me what other countries do with city development, but I never really know what it is like. So during the time I study abroad, I want to complete a cognitive map of UC Davis, have a study of image space on small scale.

答案

我不知道你申请交换生是和谁竞争,是本校的固定的名额,主要看你们的作品,定了之后交一份申请走走程序还是要和其他学校甚至其他国家的学生竞争这几个名额,如果是前者,内容算是符合要求.如果是后者,那么这篇东西对申请...