请帮忙改下我的语法错误和词语用法,

题目

请帮忙改下我的语法错误和词语用法,
Before training from experiences,I did not know raising money from companies sponsor,not only required patience and passion,but also needed business skills.As realistic companies,they hope their income will bring some “repay”,in addition “how and how much”.Training from the experiences,I gradually explored some breakthroughs in promotion.“It would be a double-win accomplishment as long as we satisfactorily illuminate companies sponsor would best visualize their business culture.” Because of effective,I have promoted my opinions to my teammates,and gained successful outcomes.Following my diplomacy skills became mature,I even successfully persuaded a medicine companies to offer enough medicines to one of our charity activity.As time passed,I fell in love with my works deeply.On one hand,charity works responsibilities of the society worth; on the other hand,promotion practice paves the way for me to achieve my personal growth.

答案

Before trained（被培训） from experiences,I did not know raising money from companies sponsor,required not only patience and passion but also business skills（require和need不是一回事情么?）.As realistic companies,they hope their payment（income是你的,开支是他们的） will bring something in return（repay是动词）,in addition “how and how much”（这句话想说什么,我没看懂）.Trained from the experiences,I gradually explored some breakthroughs in promotion.“It would be a double-win accomplishment as long as we satisfactorily illuminate companies sponsor would best visualize their business culture.” Because of effectiveness（effective是形容词）,I have promoted my opinions to my teammates（share,分享?）,and gained successful outcomes.Following my diplomacy skills became mature（没看懂,不过这不是一个句子,不该出现动词）,I even successfully persuaded a medicine company to offer enough medicine（campany可数,medicine不可数） to one of our charity activities.As time passing by,I fell in love with my work deeply.On one hand,charity work responsibilities of the society are worthful（worth是及物动词）; on the other hand,promotion practice（promotion是晋升,升职的意思,你全篇都在用这个词） paves my way to achieve my personal development（growth是长大,development才是发展成长）.