一句话英语翻译,句子结构貌似有问题

题目

一句话英语翻译,句子结构貌似有问题
将“融聚人才,领先技术,创造出高品质的产品和服务,为人类进步做出贡献.”翻译成
“we gather all talents to
develop world leading technology and provide high quality products and services,
making contributions to human progress.”正确吗?后面的making的应用是不是有问题?但是改为”to make"感觉句子又变得冗余有歧义.各位有何高见?

答案

我觉得这样翻译更恰当.
融聚人才,领先技术,创造出高品质的产品和服务,为人类进步做出贡献.
We gather talented people to develop world leading technology,provide high quality products and services,and contribute to the progress of mankind.
① Talents 改为 talented people
② and provide 改为 provide
③ 直接去掉 making,把 contributions 改为 to contribute 即可.
♥ 自己认真回答的,应该是正确的,