Here is my Short essay,Please tell me what is the wrong about it.Thank you~

题目

Here is my Short essay,Please tell me what is the wrong about it.Thank you~
我有一个梦想
在我10岁时,就认识了美国鼎鼎大名的皮货商人皮塞罗,他告诉我人活着就一定要有自己的梦想.他一边笑着,一边让我眺望那片蔚蓝天空,并说道:"美好总是那么遥远,但是只要我们能够看见它,就一定会有实现的那么一天." 我瞪大了双眼,这场景时至今日都不能忘记.
ONE DREAM
when i was ten years old I had knew pisailuo who was the famous furrier in USA.He told me that one person would be have a dream in its lastlife .he smiled and I was told to survey the blue sky."The nice things always far away from us,but we could see it ,and that must be come true one day " he said.i Stared so big eyes that i couldn't forgot the Scene untill today .

答案

I have a dream
I was 10 years old,happen to know the famous U.S. fur merchant Piseluo, he told me, people alive must have their own dreams. While let me overlooking that patch of blue sky beside he smiled, and said: " Good things always so far away,but as long as we can see it,there will be realized someday." I widened my eyes,this scene I cannot forget until now.
You are learning don't be afraid to make a mistake.
以後记得标点符号,完句後要有一个空位要大草,I ,开句,人名永远是大草.
中释英,有些字句有时要加多减少,才能让句子通顺.