求英语值日报告啊~要小短文

题目

求英语值日报告啊~要小短文
我14日要念值日报告啊~帮我写下值日报告
内容不要太长也不要太短 大概50秒内念完
内容不要太幼稚比如:今天星期几 多少日 今年我多少岁 生日是多少
天气如何 喜欢什么 父母叫什么 他们工作是什么
也不要是对话的
除了 上面的问题其他都可以 帮我弄出来的给他5分

答案

Hello!Everybody,I'm on duty today.I want to tell you a joke.
A Girl Just Like Mother
No matter which girl he brought home,the young man found disapproval from his mother． A friend gave him advice
“Find a girl just like your mother—then she's bound to like her．
So the young man searched and searched,and finally found the girl．He told his friend：
“Just like you said,I found a girl who looked,talked,dressed,and even cooked like mother．And just as you said,mother liked her”
“So,”asked the friend,“what happened?”
“Nothing,”said the young man．“My father hates her!”