一分钟英语自我介绍,球高人修改……

题目

一分钟英语自我介绍,球高人修改……
Good morning everyone,it's a pleasure to meet you all.My name is XXX.I am 16 years old.I’m interested in English very much so I stand here to show myself to you.I like reading books and writing articles best,and I dream of becoming a writer.I enjoy listening to pop music,too.I am an outgoing girl so I have a large circle of friends.I am very confident and I have a sense of humor.I’m good at Chinese,English and physics.I think I’m a hardworking student and I believe that “No pain,no gain.” I hope I can get a good result in this competition.That’s all,thank you.
大家帮忙看看有什么语法错误或者不地道的地方……
急……我明天就参加比赛
一分钟的演讲.

答案

Good morning everyone,it's my pleasure to meet all of you( you all 是你们全部,中式英语).My name is XXX.I am 16 years old.I’m interested in English very much and today( 不用so 因为不是因果关系) I stand here to show you about myself（你那么说也行吧）.I like reading books and writing articles best.For that reason,my dream is becoming a writer.(你那样说也行) I enjoy listening to pop music,too.Moreover(除此之外),I have good self-confidence(自信) and I have a sense of humor.I am an outgoing girl so I have a large circle of friends.（这里先强调你的幽默再强调你有许多朋友比较好）I’m good at Chinese,English and physics.I think I’m a hardworking student and I believe the word “No pain,no gain.” I hope I can get a good result in this competition.That’s all,thank you.
Good morning everyone,it's a pleasure to meet all of you( you all 是你们全部,中式英语).My name is XXX.I am 16 years old.I’m interested in English very much and today( 不用so 因为不是因果关系) I stand here to show you about myself（你那么说也行吧）.I like reading books and writing articles best.For that reason,my dream is becoming a writer.(你那样说也行) I enjoy listening to pop music,too.Moreover(不仅如此),I have good self-confidence(自信) and I have a sense of humor.I am an outgoing girl so I have a large circle of friends.（这里先强调你的幽默再强调你有许多朋友比较好）I’m good at Chinese,English and physics.I think I’m a hardworking student and I believe the word “No pain,no gain.” I hope I can get a good result in this competition.That’s all,thank you.
Good morning everyone,it's a pleasure to meet all of you.My name is XXX.I am 16 years old.I’m interested in English very much and today I stand here to show you about myself.I like reading books and writing articles best.For that reason,my dream is becoming a writer.I also enjoy listening to pop music.Moreover,I have good self-confidence and I have a sense of humor.I am an outgoing girl so I have a large circle of friends.I’m good at Chinese（Mandarin）,English and physics.I think I’m a hardworking student and I believe the word “No pain,no gain.” I hope I can get a good result in this competition.That’s all,thank you.
总体你写作感觉不错,大致没有什么语法错误,就是I用的多点.
只是演讲时记得要随机应变就好.最后想不到结尾,就说 THANK YOU FOR YOUR LISTENING TO MY PRESENTATION.
放轻松就好
No pain,no gain 是对的,放心.不信你去百度查.