请问下面的关于The Value of Time的英语作文有哪些不足和错误!请一一指出,定会有重谢!

题目

请问下面的关于The Value of Time的英语作文有哪些不足和错误!请一一指出,定会有重谢!
A proverb says,"Time is money." But in my opinion,time is even more precious than money.Why?Because when money is spent,we can earn it back.However,when time is gone,it will never return.This is the reason why we must cherish the time.
Nobody knows what time is like,for we cannot see it,nor can we contact it.
Time is abstract,which we can only envisage in our brains.
We do know that time passes very quickly.However,some students do not know the value of time,nor do they know how to make the best use of it,for they waste it in going to films,playing games and doing other useless things.Why do we go to school early in the morning?Why do trains run so fast?Why do most people like to take a bus but don't like to work?The answer is very simple:we wish to save time because time is precious.
Today we are living in the 21st century.We know that the waste of time amounts to the waste of life.
When a people dies,his time has ended.Since life is short,we must devote our time and energy to our studies so that we may be able to serve our country and the people.Nevertheless since time is invisible,we often neglect it.Is the thief of time,for laziness not only brings us a lot of harm,it also brings us failure.If it is necessary for us to do some work today,let us do it today and not leave it until tomorrow.Remember,the time is more valuable than money.

答案

 This is the reason why we must cherish the time.把time前面的the去掉,不需要特指.

Nobody knows what time is like,for we cannot see it,nor can we contact it.for前面不需要加逗号,for表示因为的时候,不需要逗号的.（PS：感觉你这句话有点怪怪.）
Time is abstract,which we can only envisage in our brains.个人认为把brains改成minds会好一点.既然是抽象,那么minds会适合.
When a people dies,his time has ended.(前后语态一致好点,when someone dies,his time ends.)