雅思作文求改

题目

雅思作文求改
Some people think that students benefit from going to private secondary schools.Do you agree or disagree?
It is not uncommon that increasing students go to private schools because of their high reputations in education.
Those who hold this opinion believe that their children can be equally treated in these private schools .To be more precise,smaller class can really help students to solve all the problems and difficulties from their students.Moreover,they can promote the students’ all-around development through the complete facilities.For instance,they can absorb the knowledge and exercise their bodies in computer rooms and sports centers respectively.Most importantly,in terms of psychological factors,more profits make teachers and staffs in the school care more about students,thereby solving the mental and behavioral problems in time.
Admittedly,going to public secondary schools can develop students’ techniques about communicating with different kinds of individ

答案

字数不够,一定要注意.有点偏题,题目没有提及公立学校,而公立学校好也不代表私立学校不好,如果你想通过让步突出私立学校好的方面,就应该详细点写,而不是简单一句there are many disputes disturbing them as well带过就算了.让步最好放在前面.
Students seem to have ongoing preference for private secondary schools because of their professional teaching staff, competitive courses and excellent facilities. Despite the merits, critics are concerned about the demerits lying in this educational form, such as high tuition fee. Personally, going to private schools is a better choice for students’ growth.
Admittedly, other than public schools, the tuition fee of private schools is exorbitant and it is affordable for some sections of students only. As the widen gap between the rich and the poor, a private school is assessable for students who are able to pay, rather than who are able to learn. As a result, the advance educational resources are shared unequally by a small group of people.
However, private schools are superior because of smaller classroom sizes, which is under high funding condition. To be more precise, smaller class enables students to gain more individual attention from teachers. When they confront with difficulties in their study, teachers can adjust the materials and methods of instruction to students’ aptitudes individually. In this case, learners can fully absorb the knowledge within a certain time, which makes them more competitive.
Another remarkable quality of a private school is its proficiency in formulating and promoting different extracurricular programs. For instance, many private schools offer professional training in music and sport in terms of fostering students’ physical, emotional and social well-being. The excellent facilities and teachers with rich experience can drive the students toward higher performance as well as all-conclusive development.
On the basis of above factors, I am convinced that private school, in many aspects, such as teaching staff competitive course and fully developed facilities, outperforms the public school. On the other hand, its high tuition fee puts much pressure on the students from low income families. Thus, private schools, in large extent, are more suitable for high income families.