求托福改作文 独立写作 我很迷惑

题目

求托福改作文 独立写作 我很迷惑
再次调整了一下写作方法,然后写了这篇,我都不知道该怎么写了.大的方向和结构对吗?请仔细批改一下,还有想问倒数第二段hardly开头的句子对不对.最后就是能得多少分.我真实考试可能30分钟写不了这么多,可能会少50词（这篇是427个词）,非常非常感谢.
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?It is often not a good idea to move to a new city or a new country because you will lose old friends.
As technology develops increasingly,people start to be unsatisfied with their status quo.Especially for the new generation,staying in one place for a couple of years is unacceptable.It turns out “Let’s move” is becoming a new attitude towards life.But the coming problem is some people are worried about losing their old friends if they move to a new city or a new country.However,I’m not worried about it at all because of the following reasons.
I believe there’s no need to doubt our communication technology for long distance nowadays.There are millions of means to get in touch with your old friends such as E-mail,chatting online and using video camera.For instance,my friend uses

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