帮我看看我的英语文章是否有语法问题,并提出来,说怎么错?如何改正?

题目

帮我看看我的英语文章是否有语法问题,并提出来,说怎么错?如何改正?
Dear friend,Hi,My name is Tom.I'm a twelve-year-old boy.It's very exciting to have a American pen pal.Do you want to know about my school day?Well,let me tell you!I usually get up at around 6：00.Then I brush my teeth and wash my face.I run with my classmates at around half past six.Class starts at half past seven.I have lunch at around 12 o'clock.And then I go to bed in the noon.In the afternoon,class starts at half past two.At around six o'clock I have dinner.After the last class I go to bed at night.Today I'm very tired.And do you want to know about my hobbies?My favorite subjects are math and English.Math is kind of difficult but very interesting for me.And my English teacher is so strict with me.But I don't mind her.Because my good English is her teach.I like comedies best .Like Mr Bean,There are sons and daughters homeand more are all my favorite movies.I have a dog.It's cute.But if people are thieves,it's very unfriendly to them.Please writer soon and tell me about your life.

答案

除了楼上给的意见,我再说点意见.
but i don't mind her.这里我觉得可以去掉her.然后紧接着的后面一句的because也要去掉.英语中最好不要把but 和 because 同时出现.那句表达也没对,可以换成这样的：with her help,i learned english very well.
.Like Mr Bean,There are sons and daughters home （and more） are all my favorite movies.可以去掉括起来的部分.然后all 换成both.
But if people are thieves,it's very unfriendly to tthem可以改成but if it meets thieves,it would be very unfriendly to them.