希望大家对我的英文作文进行点评纠正!

题目

希望大家对我的英文作文进行点评纠正!
Free
Admission to Museums
Nowadays,
the pulic are
given access to
more and more
museums without entrance
tickets.
Some people
hold the view
that it will
bring some problems.First of all,museums need
money to support
themselves .Since many admission
tickets have been
cancelled,most museums may
get into trouble,lacking of
fund.Then it
will results in a more
serious consequence that
the museum feel
weak in many
activities and exhibition
which are open
to the public
without restriction.So the damage
is done to
the public themselves
in turn.
In
my eyes ,free admission
to museums benefits
the public.In that
way,everyone has a chance
to enter the
museums to add
their knowledge and
open their eyes.Everyone,poor or
rich,has a equal
right to involve
in cultural exchange
which

答案

你的文章本身写得很不错!只有个别需要优化之处,参见【】的修改和简要说明——
Free Admission to Museums
Nowadays,the pulic are given access to more and more museums without entrance
tickets.
Some people hold the view that it will【 bring ——bring about引起；导致】 some problems.First of all,museums need money to support themselves .Since many admission tickets have been cancelled,most museums may get into trouble【添加 in management and in repair】【because of 】lacking of fund.Then it will results in a more serious consequence that the 【 museums】 feel weak in many activities and 【 exhibitions 】which are open to the public without restriction.So the damage 【is——may be表述更中肯 】 done to the public themselves in turn.
In my eyes ,free admission to museums benefits the public.In that
way,everyone has a chance to enter the museums to 【add——help enrich 】 their knowledge and 【open their eyes——broaden their horizons 】.Everyone,poor or rich,has 【a——an 】equal right to involve in cultural exchange which can 【erich man’s ——make their】 inner life【full】 .In a large sense ,it contributes to the spiritual civilization construction.Although the trend may lead to heavy cost 【of ——for】museums ,the government should give them powerful support not only in finance but also in policy ,for museums can’t develop well 【only】 on their own strengths.
In summary ,I suppose free admisson to museums is very necessary
and important.
祝你开心如意!