有人能帮我看看这个托福作文能得多少分么?

题目

有人能帮我看看这个托福作文能得多少分么?
Question:
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
Always telling the truth is the most important consideration in any relationship between people.
Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
Some people believe that in any relationship between always telling the truth is the most important thing.In my opinion,being honest is the right thing,but not necessary.
Everyone has his secrets which should only keep by himself.Some time other people don't know the things that the man who keep a secret don't want other people know and they ask something related to it,and the man face such a dilemma.If I were him,I won't tell the truth to the people who has asked me.Because this is my own things,I have the right to keep it from others.What's more,not telling the truth won't influence anything between us,I believe that if he is my real friend he will understand my behavior and do my favor.
There is another situation that I won't tell the truth to another people if it will hurt him.As you know,a few of beautiful lies are necessary some time.For instant ,a person who will attend a important test tomorrow has something not good in his family,and I will decide tell him whether or not.I will say "no".The reason is that things had happened,and he can't do anything about that.If I told him,not only can he do nothing except worried but also he may fail into the exam to a large extant.This is not wisdom.
However,we believe you can tell a lie when you have some important reasons.Whereas you should tell the truth for most things,because honest is the foundation to any relationship.I think no one will like a man who always tell lies.And the people who always tell lies will lose others trust.
Above all,my view is that you can tell a lie,but should not always,only if you must do it.

答案

同学,ETS作文评分很诡异,所以不知道能给你多少确切的分数,但是我觉得字数上有待提高,还有需要再补充一些语法变换和长难句,一些高级词汇有一定加分因素,还有是逻辑结构需要再清晰,举例再细致.你可以在小马过河上贴你的 文章