帮我看看我写的这篇文章有没有语法问题和语病

题目

帮我看看我写的这篇文章有没有语法问题和语病
Nowadays job satisfaction has become a serious problem in many countries.It may lead to personal problems and even influence family relationships.Because of this,job satisfaction is indeed very important.
Employees get job satisfaction in a number of ways.Some sociologists claim that a person needs to feel that they are doing valued and valuable work.In my point of view,when someone are given promotion through their work,for example,a salesman become a marketing manager,he may get job satisfaction.In addition,the sense of belonging to a team or a working community also contributes(贡献) to job satisfaction.
Of course not everyone enjoys their job in today's life.A possible cause of the problem is that many people have little choice in the kind of job they can get.In some cases an employee is working in a job that suits neither their skills nor their personality.The cost to both society and individual are great,such as labour relations may be poor.
However,even though it is unlikely that all workers do feel happy in their work,I think it is not unrealistic to promote more job satisfaction in any job.If the factors above are solved,then any job can be improved and more workers can feel greater degrees of job satisfaction.

答案

1--Some sociologists claim that a person needs to feel that they are doing valued and valuable work犯了主谓不一致的毛病.建议改为Some sociologists claim that a person needs to feel that he is doing valued and valuable work.
2--同样的还有when someone are given promotion through their work,改为when someone is given promotion through his work,
3--In some cases an employee is working in a job that suits neither their skills nor their personality.建议改为
In many cases an employee' job suits neither his skills nor his personality.
另外,Of course not everyone enjoys their job in today's life.改为Of course not everyone enjoys his job in today ’s world.
4--a salesman become a marketing manager,he may get job satisfaction.建议版本为：If a salesperson gets promated to manager,he may obtain job satisfaction.
总体来说,文章语法错误并不多,稍显中式英语味道,个别单词使用并不是太准确.不过还行.