请帮忙看一下下面这段话是否通顺、正确,有没有语法错误,

请帮忙看一下下面这段话是否通顺、正确,有没有语法错误,

题目
请帮忙看一下下面这段话是否通顺、正确,有没有语法错误,
As is known to all.Colgate is one of the most widely recognized consumer goods companies.When I used to go to the United States,the first brand that I recognized on the street was Colgate,and I still remember the distinguished advertisement "What is our goal?" "To have no tooth decay!" However,what fascinated me most is the core values of Colgate.That is caring,global teamwork and continuous improvement.This would be the value of a career that I aspired to,for a caring teamwork would help me to create more value.Another significant reason attracts me is the smile.It makes me feel warm just like a big family.I wish to experience an opened and caring company culture marked by sufficient interaction,recognition,cross-functional opportunities and global exposure.I am sure that Colgate will give me the positive and suitable train,which is really useful for my career.
答案
按加拿大和美国标准来看,这段语文写的还不错,几个不地道的表达方式为你改了,并雅致化,如下(我是加拿大人,前英语老师):
Colgate is one of the most widely recognized consumer brands in the world.When I used to go to the United States,the first brand that I recognized on the street was Colgate,and I can still remember the famous commercial "What's our goal?" "To have no tooth decay!" What fascinates me most,however,is Colgate's core values of caring,global teamwork and continuous improvement.These are values for a career that I aspire to.They will help me create personal contribution in my job.Another important reason that makes Colgate attractive is the famous "Colgate smile".It makes me feel warm,like being part of a big family.I wish to experience an open and caring culture marked by interaction,recognition for good work,cross-functional opportunities and global exposure.I am sure that Colgate will give me just the training that will be really useful for my career.
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