有没有语法错误?帮忙看这样写合适吗 （英文）谢谢了!

题目

有没有语法错误?帮忙看这样写合适吗 （英文）谢谢了!
In a word ,three years university education gives me a lot of things to learn ,a lot of chances to try and a lot of practices to improve myself ,though I have made some progress,the road of studying is long,the further study is still urgent for me ,in addition,to be a scientist is my dream ,for it I will do my best and endeavor forever ,I intend to be a doctor too,if have the chance I hope I can for the much further study to be a postdoctor ,I won’t afraid of any difficulties and hardships ,only hope that my life won’t pass away however without anything accomplished and hope I can do something to realize my self-value In my limited life.

答案

不好意思同学 要说大的错误 您真的还不少i 最后 甚至都混乱了、通篇都要改.
我发现你很爱用to 但是英文作文和中文一样 你要是通篇都说 我是一名中学生 我几岁 我爱好什么 我的父母 我的什么什么 那多单调 只能说 只是是有 但是 给人的感觉没到家 你可以试着这样写.
in short,i have learned lots of things in the past 3 years in the college.there are many chances to let me improve my english(也不要一直用lots of)though i have made some progress,the road of studying ahead of me is long,(我发现你主动都要用被动 发出的动作经常搞反 并且有些词不能乱用 urgent是紧急 迫在眉睫的意思 不符合你要表达的意思）你可以这样说the further study is necessary for me ,你觉得呢 necessary更合适吧.in addition being a scientist is my dream,最好用being做主语 那是习惯,to be 总是是不太好的.for it i will try my best 然后endeavor就没必要了.i intend to be a doctor too.好了 现在开始你就一切都混乱了
if i get the chance i hope i can be a postdoctor through my hard working我根据你的意思 重新写的.i won't be afraid of any difficulty.最基本的用法您没注意 afraid是形容词 要用系动词.我很疑惑你最后几句怎么表述出来了 真的一点也不对
only hoping that i won't loaf my precious life time.i really hope i can do something to realise realize my self-value in my limited life.
总体是这样的 继续努力 看样子 你很努力 希望自己英语很好 恩 加油 坚持.多写 多练