雅思作文修改,谁好心给我改改吧.

题目

雅思作文修改,谁好心给我改改吧.
Q
Most of us believe it is important to protect the environment but few of us make efforts to achieve this goal.What are the causes of this phenomenon and what are your solutions.
A
Nowadays,the continuously increasing environmental degradation has become to a critical issue in modern society.Although the problem is already noticed by the public,there are still few actions taken by people.In this essay,I will analyse some possible causes of this phenomenon and the corresponding solutions.
First of all,compare to previous age,people have a higher living standard as a result of new technology development.On the other hand,people over exploit natural resources and make the environmental problem aggravated.Even though people start to know protecting environment is everyone’s duty,the conflict still exists.Whether people should sacrifice the environmental resources or their enjoyment has become to a struggling decision for them.Secondly,it is a fast pace

答案

文章中心明确,论点很清晰,论据也比较清楚有力.另外,作者的基本功不错,文章中没有什么太多的语法错误.而且笔者在文中多出使用连接词,使整篇文章都显得很自然,衔接的很好.目前得分：6.5分.
但是注意一些小问题：1 第一句 become 后面为什么要接to呢?
2 注意一些词中间要加连字符 如over-exploit fast-pace等
在注意一些细节问题 文章会更好的!